Kuts and Kisses
by PaleFire12
Summary: Your name is John Egbert. You are 15. You have a self harm problem. ((im sorry for the crappy summary its better i promise))


Fandom: Homestuck

Pairing: JohnxDave

Category: Angst/Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: self harm, homosexual relationships, depression, ect.

Disclaimer: I do not own homestuck or any of the characters. They all belong to Andrew Hussie. The story is mine though.

* * *

Reader: Be John

Your name is john Egbert and you are 15, you live with your father and your best friend who temporarily moved in due to reasons unknown. Your father is away on business trips all the time so the two of you are often alone. Hot. That's the only way to describe it. Hot. You roll over in your bed to look at the clock, 4:13 a.m. You sigh and untangle yourself from dark blue sheets, looking down you see your best friend Dave Strider. He is cool. Way cooler than you, but then again everyone is cooler than you. You are nothing special. Dave is sprawled out on his back taking up most of the space on the full size bed you happen to be sharing with him at the current moment.

Pushing his long thin arm off of your torso you get up and stumble out of the room. You go to the bathroom after grabbing a fresh pair of clothes and a towel. You peel off the long sleeve shirt that is far too hot to be wearing and shimmy out of the light blue sweat pants. Standing in front of the tall mirror you examine yourself. You see all of your imperfections right in front of you. Thin scars litter your arms, chest, and upper thighs, some darker or thicker than others. Gently you run your fingers over the more noticeable ones, remembering what each one of them is for.

You avert your eyes in shame and disgust with yourself. After a moment you get in the shower and let the cool water run down your back. Taking the black scrubby you rub it over your skin, effectively getting of sweat, dirt, and old scabs. Sometimes you wish you could scrub the scars away so that your skin would be free from these horrible reminders that linger in your body, but unfortunately that is obviously impossible.

You wince when you accidentally run over a rather fresh wound with the rough mesh object. After cleaning yourself you put on a fresh pair of boxers and instead of putting the rest of your cloths on you rummage through the cabinet under the sink. You pull out a match box and open it, careful not to spill the content. You pick one of the blades you have hidden in the box and pour some peroxide on it to make sure it's clean. You stare at it for a moment before you put it to your skin. Pressing down, you drag the thin metal across your stomach. From 1 to 4 from 4 to 9 from 9 to 15 and then you lose count. But it's not like it matters, no one cares.

You clean up the blood and dress yourself the rest of the way. You walk back into your bedroom and see Dave sideways hanging half hanging of the bed and head on the floor, quietly chuckling, you shakes your head and sigh. The clock reads 6:47 and since its only Saturday you don't see the harm in sleeping in so you wake up Dave in an attempt to get him to move. After situating yourselves Dave winds up spooning you and mumbling something about platonic bro cuddles. You don't care that it's too hot you just fall asleep to the sound of his breathing.

== John: Awake

You wake up to soft breathing and the sight of Dave without his cool kid shades you bought him. Somehow you have managed to turn yourself around and are now facing him. You blush slightly when you realize how close you are. Wriggling out of his tight grip you look at the clock, 10:26 a.m. Then you watch as Dave's flaming red eyes flutter open. Damn they're gorgeous' you think to yourself.

== Reader: Be Dave

You hear a change in johns breathing and open your eyes. Growing up with bro makes you wake at the sounds or changes in atmosphere. You look down at John and he's blushing, smirking you say "good morning egderp. Sleep well?" he nods and gets up saying he's going to go make breakfast. You head to the bathroom to take a shower. After taking your shower and getting dressed you head downstairs to get breakfast. You see a plate of food waiting for you at the table. Bacon eggs and pancakes accompanied by a glass of apple juice. aww yis. Mother. Fucking. Apple Juice. You sit down and start eating. You look at john curiously as he slowly pokes at his meal, not eating any of it.

"Dude what's wrong? You love breakfast food." You ask going straight to the point. He shrugs simply before quietly taking a small bite and setting his fork down. "Not very hungry today I guess" he says in an unusual monotone. He is always so happy… there is something wrong but you decide against pushing it further. You quietly finish the rest of your breakfast and take your dishes to the sink. "Dude, you wanna watch some shitty movies or do you wanna go out and do something?" you ask him. "Let's stay home today." He answers rather quietly. "Cool", you say as you head back upstairs to John's room, said boy following close behind you.

== Dave: Find out what's wrong with John

Once you get to the bedroom you turn on the TV and grab a stack of John's favorite films, con air, ghost busters, national treasure, ect. "Alright dude what do you want to watch?" you ask, glancing at him and awaiting an enthusiastic answer. "I don't care, you pick." He says less excited than you had hoped. There was definitely something wrong, whatever it is you are going to find out. Whatever is eating at him you need to know. You pick ConAir out of the pile and pop it in the DVD player, grabbing the remote you stroll over his bed and gracefully (not) plop down.

As the movie starts you look over at the smaller boy, you now notice how small he is. He is rather short compared to you and just about as gangly. You can't really see how skinny he is right now due to the fact that he is basically drowning in clothes that are way too hot to be wearing this time of year. Isn't he hot in that huge sweatshirt? Though you don't let it show you are concerned, he is your best friend after all and you don't want him to have a fucking heat stroke. "John, its 105◦ outside and the a.c. is broken. Why the hell are you wearing a seat shirt?"He just shrugs and turns back to the TV. Something is up. But what?

* * *

Okay so this is my newest story project thing I've been working on. I had little more time on my hands than usual so I tossed this idea around my think pan for a couple weeks and decided to publish it. Im not the most light hearted person and my writing has become a little gloomy but I actually like the idea of this story… any how I hope you like it. If you have any suggestions or problems please tell me. You can also contact me through my tumblr, you will find me at .com


End file.
